Ka-Double Trouble

Back in the Stone Age, when my sisters and I were not yet in our teens, watching a good movie required not only dressing up and going to a moviehouse, but also getting there on time — because missing the first part of the movie meant one had to sit through its “kadobol”.

kadobol (or ka-double feature) was a second film that was supposed to add value to one’s movie ticket. But it really served as time-filler while the film reels for the main feature were rushed to and shown in the other moviehouse across the street. 😉

A kadobol was often randomly selected, forgettable and boring — the moviehouse equivalent of the song on the ‘B-side’ of a hit record. (Think Duran Duran’s Make Me Smile on the flipside of The Reflex*). So at various times, us kids suffered through B-grade costume dramas, a coming-of-age movie from Israel, a documentary about General MacArthur, film footage from the wedding of a celebrity couple, and film footage from the funeral (I kid you not) of a starlet who famously died of leukemia.

But once in a while, a kadobol would turn out to be equally, if not more, memorable than the main feature. A horror film, for example.

When I was seven, the final scene of Burnt Offerings gave me such a fright that I slipped and literally tumbled down the tiered aisle of the moviehouse! They had to pick me up from the bottom of the steps and as I made my way back to my seat, I saw everyone along the aisle trying to brush off from their hair and clothes the contents of my giant pack of corn chips. :D)

But the most memorable kadobol of all was A Danish Love Affair.

It was the kadobol of Superman: The Movie. We wanted to see Christopher Reeve run faster than a speeding bullet so our parents brought us girls (4 giggly pre-teens) to watch Superman. The title ‘A Danish Love Affair sounded innocent enough and promised a plot along the lines of Love Affair (1939), so my parents thought nothing of it.

Big mistake. It turned out that A Danish Love Affair‘s original title was ‘Danish Pillow Talk’ and there was nothing quaintly romantic about it.

Yes, it was that kind of movie.

For some reason, one scene in particular stood out for me and my sisters:

A naked couple is in bed ‘doing the nasty’. But it seems only one of them (the man) is enjoying it because as he humps away (haha), the woman (completely unmoved) ignores him and reads a book.

Finally, sweaty and out-of-breath from his under-appreciated exertions, the man stops. The woman peers down at him and asks: “Are you finished?”.

He manages to gasp out, “Not yet.”

She sighs, rolls her eyes and with a tone of bored resignation says, “Go on” and goes back to her book.

He goes right back to humping, in the manner of a wind-up toy. 😀

Now, those were more innocent times and we did not really comprehend what was going on, but we thought the scene was hilarious. For weeks, it became a running joke for us girls. Every time we found ourselves in the same room, one of us would start the dialogue:

“Are you finished?”

(Giggles)

“Not yet”

(Exaggerated eye-rolling)

“Go on”.

At dinner, we (including a sister who was then only 5 years old), would bounce on our seats, mimicking the humping movement while gleefully reciting those three lines. Our parents never once showed any reaction. There were no frowns, no sighs, no raised eyebrows, no shushing. Not even when our chairs started creaking with all the simulated humping. 😀

Instead, Dad and Ma stoically bore their mortification and silently rued that Sunday family outing when they (unwittingly) treated their pre-teen daughters to a tub of popcorn and some Scandinavian soft-porn.

*****

(how Eighties can I get?)

29 thoughts on “Ka-Double Trouble

  1. Love it! What a great story and memory. I can only imagine your parents’ silent mortification!

    That said, I have to take issue with you referring to Duran Duran’s cover of Make Me Smile as an inferior product. I LOVED that song. 🙂

    • Hahahaha! Yup, it’s only now that I realized that that’s not a very good example, heh. It just happened to be much less known than The Reflex.

      Would you believe, nowadays my Ma still refuses to comment when we tease her about the movie. 😉

  2. Oh Dog! That is hilarious! We didn’t have the double features, but we did go to the movies alot as a kid. I saw some really cheesy movies too. The one that stands out for me was a documentary on Bigfoot- aka Sasquatch or Yeti of the US.

    FYI: I re-followed your blog because for some reason I’m not getting email notifications anymore. So if it looks like I had dumped you, that’s why! LOL

    • Unless there was another ‘Yeti’ film around that time, I think we saw that documentary, too, haha.

      Oh, you always check my blog out anyway, Rumpy. Thanks very much! 🙂

  3. I am floored once again. What a laugh trip!
    I didn’t know anything about kadobol at all? When did it occured? And til when?
    I know some DVD’s, mostly foreign films, they show one featured short film.
    You and your sister must be the coolest pair to hang out with.

    • You had no double-features where you grew up? Ah, you missed out on some of the most inane movies ever, hehe.
      Double-features are still common in the few remaining moviehouses in the province. They usually pair a Hollywood movie with either unknown Filipino films or kung-fu movies. 😀

  4. Ka-double, astig. I bet it’s more exciting than movie trailers and ads reminding people to turn their cellphones off.

    And your parents are such characters. Very funny story.

    • We called the movie trailers ‘extra’. And between showing the main feature and the kadobol, the moviehouse would play songs by Air Supply or Reo Speedwagon, nyahaha. 😀

  5. Your parents must have wilted in their seats. I can only imagine Tita you and your sisters at the dinner table. Your parents, I don’t know how they kept from cracking up! I do not remember double features and that roll down the aisle is funny. 😀 Sorry.

  6. that was funny… I would have thought that the movie theater people would actually watch, or at least read about, what they were showing…

  7. It’s a good thing I read this after finishing my breakfast or I would be cleaning pieces of toast or café con leche from my carpet right now. I can imagine your sister bouncing in her chair and then you asking her, “are you finished?” hahaha

    • Maybe the shock of having brought their kids to a soft-porn movie had not worn off by then, but they just went ahead eating their supper while we were pretend-humping all around them, mwahaha. 😀

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