Dear Human Mama,
While you’re taking your time sipping that coffee that you think tastes better than a Tasty Treat, we are taking over your blog. You see, we have a problem.
You know those pet ‘beds’ we’re supposed to sleep in? The ones that you think need to be washed often? Well, your washing them has made them not only un-smelly (which we hate), but worse, all clumpy and flat and twisted in the wrong places. That’s why we keep booting you out of your bed at night. (Really, Mama, try sleeping on the floor the whole day.)
So here’s the thing: we need new beds. And we’re now presenting you with these options. (Please note that they are all obviously easy to clean and will match our existing furniture — we know you love them matchy-matchy things).
Nice, huh? Check out that curved roof that makes it extra cozy. Look at that soft pad! Mama, if you give us that bed, we promise to treat you like you’re, uh, Zsa Zsa Gabor. (Yes, we watch you watching TCM.) Not that we want you to be Zsa Zsa Gabor. We love you, Mama.
It’s shaped like an egg, Mama, look! It will be perfect for us because we like sleeping curled up like a ball. And Mama, because it’s important to you, it really is very cute.
3. The Suite by Forma Italia
Ahh, if the Vurv Dog Pod will make us behave like ZsaZsa’s pets, this is gonna make us act like Cary Grant. You can even put a bow tie on us if you want. (Bruno: It also has enough space for a fully stretched-out, snoring, handsome dachshund!)
4. The Bowhaus by DenHaus
Jigs: I want this, I want this! Yip! Yip! It’s made of powder-coated steel and has doors. Doors, Mama! I have a fear of strangers, remember, so this is perfect for me! And it’s stylish enough that it can also serve as an end table where you can set down that mug of black liquid that you like so much. (Bruno: Stylish, Jigs? ‘Stylish’?)
So how about it, Human Mama?
With soooo much love, Bruno and Jigs
Dear Bruno and Jigs,
Sweeties, inasmuch as I’m already too old to offer myself as mistress to the Sultan of Brunei, it’s either those beds or these:
I knew it. 😉
~ HM ~