Victim of Schmaltz

[Recycled from my old blog. 🙂 ]

victim-of-cheese-001

It was a few days before Valentine’s Day and romance was in the air. But after a long day, all I wanted was a quiet ride home. I hailed a cab, got in and, BOOM, was immediately pinned to my seat by sentiment so heavy it reminded me of the 12-hour bus ride that got me acquainted with the entire Power Ballads of the 80s boxed set.

I entered the cab to the tune of Bed of Roses, which set off alarms in my head that I chose to ignore. I gave the directions and tried to tune out Bon Jovi.

When dear Jon (who I otherwise love) finally let up, Victims of Love came on. The driver obviously likes it. A lot. He cranked up the volume, startling me slightly, but as he was that rare specie of taxi driver (not reckless, not car-horn-happy), I held my tongue.

I should have plugged my ears, too. If you have yet to hear this power ballad, let me describe it as sounding somewhat like Reo Speedwagon’s Can’t Fight This Feeling but with 10 times the maudlin sentiment. Like all such ballads from the 80s, it has a very catchy refrain which, when ladled out in substantial decibels, makes it impossible to ignore.

Trapped in traffic, all you can do then is listen and stare out into the darkness as you slowly, inexplicably get sadder and sadder, too.

“Victims of looove, a broken down affair
So sad to see the debris, scattered everywhere…”

Oh, the soaring tenor! Oh, the powerful rendition of the lyrics from heartbreak hell!

The crush of sentiment was too much that it almost cut off my air supply. I groped in vain for the window roller. I bargained with the saints, “I’ll gladly listen to Laura Branigan’s Power of Love. It’s upbeat compared to this! Please.”

In the end they sent me relief in the form of a shampoo commercial.

🙂

*****

Ok, here, crank it up! 😀 (Caution: may cause the dreaded Last Song Syndrome.)

(Top photo: Picture editing by titabuds, base image credit: mihtiander / 123RF Stock Photo)

9 thoughts on “Victim of Schmaltz

  1. Tita I have no idea what I was listening to in the 80’s but I have never heard this song.. 😀 I think I gave up on music in the 80’s and I have been stuck on the stuff from 60’s and 70’s. I googled the 80’s hits. Hall and Oats, Captain and Tennile, Simply Red and Heart, yeah I remember them.. 🙂 Victims of Love, wow sadder than sad! I am older than old!!

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